Cherry Twig Chuck

So yesterday I made one of the best pieces of beef I've ever made. 


Cherry Twig Chuck
I had bought a chuck roast to cut into steaks.  I cut half of it into two steaks that I ate with a friend a couple days ago, then the other half I cut into what actually amounts to mini-roasts.  I think next time I do this I'll just grill a whole chuck roast.

Ingredients and supplies include:

• A grill. Unless you have a tray that you can put wood chips in, this is not something you can make in an oven or frying pan.  It's grill food.  I used a propane grill.  You should be able to do it fine on a charcoal grill, too, but you'll have to tweak the recipe a bit.  The best grills for this have either a separate smoking area or have a top rack.
• A chuck roast or chuck steaks (you can probably use other meat, too).  The lean parts turned out the best.
• Garlic powder
• Salt (I use Hawaiian Black Salt)
• Black Pepper
• Twigs from a cherry tree.

Start up the grill as per instructions and let it heat up.  Sprinkle the garlic powder and pepper on the steak.  I usually only put a little garlic powder on there, because garlic powder is just so strong to me.  Don't put the salt on, yet.

Put the meat on the grill.  I stick the cherry twigs on the grill at this point.

Leave them on there, flipping every so often, until they're good and browned all over, then transfer them to the top rack.  If you haven't put your cherry twigs on the grill yet, do that so that it really starts filling the area with smoke.  Close the lid and leave it there.   I probably had these there for about a half hour.  They're also very thick, though.  If you're doing steaks, you won't need so long.

Once it's all done, then add the salt.

This is what I wound up with at the end.  I often have trouble with chuck being too stringy/tough.  There was some toughness in the fatty meats, but all-in-all it was just excellent.

Some Post-Business-Trip Updates

Damn, that business trip really screwed me up when I got home.  I've been pretty ravenous for the past several days, which was actually unexpected because while I was actually on the business trip I was trying so hard to not eat too shitty while I was there.  I had some cheat meals, mostly meals that count as cultural icons in the area I was in, but I was overall really looking forward to coming home and eating well again, and the food I kept in my hotel room was reasonably innocuous (something I already mentioned).

So what the hell happened?  Money, mostly.  When I got home I had pretty much twenty bucks to my name, my last couple paychecks have been really shitty, and I wound up eating a lot of my parents' food instead.  I also re-picked-up my soda habit, but luckily right now soda feels wildly unappealing to me and that'll probably be easy to kick.  This time, at least.

I don't really regret the cheat meals I had on the trip.  I had Subway a couple times (I usually get salads there, but getting one of those "on the go" would have been complicated in a group like the one I was in), I had McDonalds once (which I probably should regret but I do not), and I had some foods that I just wouldn't be able to get up here in Wisconsin at the same quality, like a Crawfish and Oyster Po'boy or a Memphis Style Barbecue Sandwich.

I will tell you, though, that those last two meals sure made me feel like garbage the night after.  The barbecue wasn't so bad (the main problem was that in addition to the sandwich we had pulled pork nachos and so we all overate), but the Po'boy resulted in such bad acid reflux that I could not sleep.  This was a huge problem as my flight was at six in the morning, and we left the hotel at four.

Most of my restaurant eating actually wasn't that bad.  For instance, when going to a sushi place you can't go wrong with a plate of sugary-rice-free sashimi.  I don't eat sashimi very often because most of the places I get sushi do not serve it.  I feel like I should eat more of it, though.  On a side note... I've been trying to figure out what that white fish on the right is, and it might be escolar, which is famous for some creative and nasty health effects that as far as I can tell make it the Olestra of the fish world.  I, however, have never had a problem with it, probably because I don't eat a whole lot of it.

The good part of all this is on that two week trip I managed to only gain four pounds and my blood pressure is still what it was post-Whole-30 (which is to say, bad, but not that bad).

7 Things I'm Sick Of Hearing People Who Don't Eat Paleo Say

A couple days ago a friend of mine was going on and on about the pseudoscience "inherent" to paleo diets, and it was... well, frustrating to say the least.  I'll tell you as much as anybody that the paleo movement has its share of pseudoscientific bullshit in it.  But the reality is that for many of us it works really well, regardless of why it works.

The following are some things I commonly hear from people who are not in the paleo community that I'm just downright sick of:

1. Equating paleo with Atkins/low-carb or gluten-free.
   There is a lot of overlap between low-carb, gluten-free, and paleo.  A lot of paleo eaters are also low-carbers (although since I'm sure some of them are bringing on the pitchforks as I say that, you can eat paleo and not be low-carb as well).  And paleo done right is inherently gluten-free.
   The mistake people make is turning these two characteristics into the whole point of the diet.  Paleo is about overall bodily optimization, not just weight loss, not just reduction of gastrointestinal symptoms.  If I had to pick out one thing that characterized paleo for me it's not gluten-free or low-carb, but eating an abundance of healthy fats.  And even that is not necessarily what paleo is for other people.
   I personally hate being called "gluten-free" or "low-carb."  Not because I'm necessarily not, but because these terms have a lot of baggage that don't characterize my lifestyle.  Being called "gluten-free," for instance, gives people the undying urge to get me shit manufactured by Udi's.  Speaking of which...
2. "Eating gluten-free is dangerous if you don't have celiac disease!"This one is part of why I started off with the odd comparisons above.
   I'm sorry, but this is one of the absolute most fucking ridiculous things I've ever heard.  The gist of this argument is that by not eating gluten we're shunning some unique number of nutrients found in wheat.  This ignores a couple of things, though.  First, most wheat today is either enriched or fortified.  Fortifying means manufacturers have added more nutrients during processing to make it look healthier.  In the case of enrichment, that means manufacturers are replacing nutrients they took out of it through processing.  If wheat were really something that was "dangerous" for us to cut out, why do they need to fortify it?
   I'm reminded actually of when I was still a vegan and people were constantly back-and-forthing over whether or not cow's milk is better for you than soymilk.  Both vegans and non-vegans would make these absolutely fucking ridiculous comparisons... dairy advocates would compare unfortified soymilk to cow's milk with vitamin D added, soy advocates would whine that they compared unfortified to fortified but still managed to do the same damn thing.  It was ridiculous.  This is the same thing.
   You do run into problems when people think that gluten is the singular health problem they need to worry about and respond by replacing their baked goods with rice- and potato-based substitutes that are also terrible for them (and also very expensive).  But it's not getting rid of wheat that causes this problem, it's getting rid of it and then replacing it with nutritionally sparse calories.
   Which is why paleo specifically as a gluten-free diet is even less relevant to this sort of scaremongering bullshit.  Paleo eaters typically remove wheat (and all other grains) and then replace them with vegetables, fruits, and other whole foods.  This is not dangerous and has a great number of health effects.
3. "Do you really think humanity hasn't evolved at all in the past 10,000 years?"
   I get very sick of this one because my degree is in Anthropology and have a pretty strong background in how evolution works, so it's a little annoying to hear this sort of thing chanted as fact to me when their entire background is "learning how to argue against creationists."
   This is one of those cases where people latch onto one commonly-touted reason to go paleo and then run with it as if it's a baseless assumption that makes up the entire bulk of paleo diet philosophy.  If you spend any time within the paleo community, you'll certainly find people who willingly and unabashedly boil it all down to that.  More likely, though, you'll find a lot of people who recognize that in some respects we've changed.  This is where you get people who maintain that, for instance, people who are descended from ancestors who ate a lot of dairy are likely to handle dairy better.
   Most of us will gladly maintain the very basics of this argument:  Our bodies haven't evolved sufficiently to really, optimally handle modern foods.  This really isn't that difficult a concept to grasp if you have a really good background in how evolution works.  Grains and legumes have been instrumental foods for staving off starvation in a growing human population.  The health effects of these foods don't typically kill people off before they're able to reproduce.  Having health repercussions later in life is less likely to dramatically alter our evolutionary course.
4. "It's not the paleo diet that actually helps you, it's (accidental calorie restriction/cutting out processed foods/some other thing).""Oh, yeah, this lifestyle clearly works very well for a lot of people, but it's not the lifestyle, it's the things the lifestyle forces you to do."  Seriously... what's the difference?  If paleo incidentally leads to people cutting out processed foods or restriction of caloric intakes or some other thing that could be accomplished through another diet, isn't that still a good thing?
5. "You're just going to gain the weight back as soon as you start eating normal again."This is probably the main reason so many paleo eaters (and vegans, and other people who change their eating habits long-term) really hate it when you call their eating habits a "diet."  A "diet" is simply a way of eating, but people more often than not associate it with changing your eating habits short-term to lose some weight and then when that's accomplished going right back to eating the way you did before.  If you do this, then no shit you are going to gain all the weight back (and all the health problems, and everything else).
   If you want real long-term weight loss, real long-term improvements in cholesterol and high blood pressure and diabetes and so forth, you need to make permanent changes.  This is not rocket science, and yet people still bring it up every time somebody brings up a diet they arbitrarily have decided they don't like.
6. "Paleo eaters eat more animals than other omnivores!"This is one of those things exclusive to animal rights discourse.  Vegans have an extremely unfair fixation on paleo eaters because we're so unashamed about our meat-loving ways.  I recall PETA for instance giving a paleo cookbook its award for worst cookbook one year.  Their rationale is pretty much "They eat meat therefore they're bad."
   The reason this is unfair is because a huge chunk of animal deaths caused by diet are actually due to corn, wheat, and soy production.  In a typical omnivore's diet, the number of animals that met their deaths through that diet is significantly ramped up because of the corn, wheat, and soy eaten by the animals they are eating.
   Paleo eaters culturally have a preference for grassfed, pastured meats.  We don't all do it, but it's greatly recommended.  A paleo eater who faithfully sticks to grassfed or pastured animals may even result in the deaths of fewer animals than a vegan, depending on what the vegan is eating.
7. "Paleo eaters are just annoying historical reenactors!"I love my historical reenactments (I'm a regular sight at primitive technology festivals and Rendezvous events, after all), and hey... maybe that did have something to do with my initial entrance into the paleo community.
   As a whole, though, the paleo community tends to love its technology and modern comforts.  There's lots of overlap between the paleo movement and the quantified self movement, for instance.
   I think this is in a way exacerbated by the dipshit theoretical stories people tell in paleo books, giving fictional cavemen ridiculous names like "Ogg" and "Grok" and... well, maybe that's annoying to you.  But it also doesn't say anything about the benefits or lack thereof of the actual diet.

Cheap Business Trip Pseudo-Paleo

Alright, I know some of you are going to take one look at this picture, scream in terror, and then head for the hills.  Right now I'm right in the middle of a two week project out of state, and because of that I've had to take a little... uh... license with my eating habits.  Which, I agree, sucks pretty hardcore.  But I think that for having practically no money I'm doing pretty damn good.

I actually feel a bit sad about my mini-fridge because I've been reading "It Starts With Food"--the accompanying book to the Whole 30 program--and it's helping me understand a lot more about why paleo allows and forbids certain foods.  Interestingly as well, a lot of the stuff I initially bought thinking "oh, it's two weeks, I'll get back on later" I just don't have the appetite for.  It didn't go to waste, but it wasn't easy to eat, either.  Which is a good thing.

The food in the picture was specifically chosen for two reasons:

1. It's reasonably inexpensive (I get meals reimbursed, which would be more fantastic if I had money to put up front).
2. It's easy to cook in a microwave when needed, which is the only cooking instrument I have right now.

The only things on here that are pretty hardcore not-paleo are green beans (These are a legume, but I believe they're actually Whole 30 compliant for the same reason sugar snap peas are. Not sure, though.) and the butter (I got butter mixed with olive oil because it was a smaller portion; it's really difficult to find real butter here in comparison to Wisconsin, I've found).  The rest is... well, pretty reasonable.  Maybe the canned pineapple is sketchy due to being kept in fruit juice... but at least it's not corn syrup.

I got eggs because you can microwave eggs pretty easily.  Just do a Google search for microwaving eggs and it'll tell you how to poach them, scramble them, hard-cook them, or pseudo-fry them.  They aren't as good as pan-cooked eggs, but they're do-able.  I've been scrambling them with the microwave-ready bacon (on a side note, regular non-pre-cooked bacon can also be made in a microwave, and they have awesome plastic cookware for just that purpose).

What else do I have there... canned fish.  Canned albacore tuna (it would be better if it were pole-caught, but I have limited resources to work with).  I picked albacore because it has higher omega-3 fatty acids.  There are also canned kippered herrings, which have been a favorite snack of mine since I was a kid, and canned salmon fillets, which I've never tried and just bought because... well, I've never seen it before.

As far as fresh stuff goes, I have nectarines, cherries, and baby-cut carrots.  I also have a bunch of nuts... a bag of pistachios and a few single-serving baggies with a mix of cashews, almonds, and pistachios to bring with me for lunch.

All last week I had coconut water, including VitaCoco and Delish (Walgreens brand) that I haven't reviewed yet.  I don't have as much money, though, so I'll probably stick to water this week.

Book: 500 Paleo Recipes by Dana Carpender

Today I feel like I want to write about my one paleo cookbook, 500 Paleo Recipes by Dana Carpender. I'm writing about it first because:

1. It's the primary cookbook I use, and as such is very well-loved.
2. It's also guilty of some of the most mind-boggling problems I have with the paleo community.

So 500 Paleo Recipes is, as the title would state, a book of 500 Paleo Recipes.  I'm used to very, very simple recipes (meat with some salt and pepper and maybe garlic powder, eggs fried in coconut oil or ghee) and so 500 recipes is in some ways excessive for me.  What I like about this book is that it has given me inspiration for a lot of the random cuts of meat I pick up when I'm browsing the supermarket.  Even if I didn't quite follow the recipe, this book has helped me cook beef ribs, pig's feet, and various fish.  It's where I learned how to make Waldorf Salad and a great deal of condiments (including mayonnaise, ketchup, steak sauce, Worcestershire sauce, sriracha sauce).  There are also some recipes for coconut-based yogurt and sour cream.

Some of the reviews said it was "blah" and not very creative.  Personally, for me, there's lots of diversity here and I really recommend this book if you're good at following directions.

There are some things about it I don't like, though.  It's one of those resources that I look at and just think "Good Gods, people don't really have a concept of what paleo is, do they?"  It has some ingredients that are more "disputed" than actually forbidden, like honey and maple syrup.  It used to be that paleo explicitly excluded these, but now they're pretty regularly found in recipes.  She seems convinced that cashews are not paleo.  This is a common misconception; people often either mistakenly think they are legumes or mistakenly think they can't be eaten raw.  A select few think it's non-paleo specifically because of the high omega-6 (which it shares with a lot of other nuts and seeds).  But it's one of those things where I read it and just roll my eyes.

More bizarrely, she includes an entire section on alcoholic beverages.  So cashews are so "obviously" (she uses that word) un-paleo, but a Tom Collins isn't?

There are also no pictures in this book.  That's not a big deal, it's a cookbook, but often when it comes to food I'm at a loss as to what it's actually supposed to look like.  But there's a bright side to this:  No pictures means that she's probably not faking pictures (someday I'll review my book on making paleo bread and we'll talk about that one; it's actually a huge problem in vegetarian cookbooks oddly enough). 

Taco Bell isn't Paleo... and other words on paleo consumerism.

So my Twitter is just blowing the fuck up with news that Taco Bell is "going paleo" by offering a "Cantina Power Menu."  The gist of it, from what I can see, is that these items will all be fewer than 500 calories and have at least 20 grams of protein.  The buzz surrounding this is... well, obnoxious.

From the L.A. Times (emphasis mine):

Cantina Power dishes will have almost 30 grams of protein per serving and drop high-calorie fillings such as creamy cilantro dressing, rice and beans, and replace them with reduced-fat sour cream and cheddar cheese.

...

Americans are also dabbling in protein-centric diets such as the Paleolithic, or Paleo, which encourages people to eat only whole, unprocessed foods similar to what humans ate in the Stone Age. 

In response, the chain began selling high-protein breakfast items this year and is planning to test Greek yogurt with granola, as well as steak burritos and bowls in Omaha, Neb. The Greek yogurt will come from Three Happy Cows, a boutique yogurt supplier, and will cost $2.49.

This--and other examples being featured, like Panera Bread (from Bloomberg)--is a perfect example of a corporation taking a dietary trend it doesn't understand at all and then trying to capitalize on it.  I have my doubts that Taco Bell is specifically trying to emulate any sort of paleo diet.  Instead it's adopting some of the concepts of diets like paleo diets, combine them with what they assume is universal wisdom about dieting, and then using it to slap a bunch of half-assed crappy labels on their crappy food so that people--usually people who aren't actually paleo dieters but associate it with healthy eating anyway--buy it thinking it's a better option.  It might be, but I'll talk about that a big later.

It's really the media attention that's trying to slap the "paleo" label on this, and that's why I've put a lot of words in bold in my quote.  "Reduced fat" is the last thing most paleo eaters want.  Most of us would much rather get our calories from fat than protein, and those of us who eat dairy especially will usually favor whole-fat versions.  You do not see lacto-paleo dieters drinking skim.  It's an interesting thing that I read this today, too, because I was looking desperately for full-fat Greek yoghurt.  But modern fat-phobia has made it that you just can't find full-fat dairy products in a lot of places.

Speaking of which, although many paleo eaters do eat dairy (I call this "lacto-paleo"), that doesn't mean it's appropriate to advertise dairy-heavy foods as paleo... any dairy, but especially reduced-fat dairy.

Again, paleo diets tend to emphasize fat, and good fat.  That mostly means saturated animal and tropical oils.  Lard.  Tallow.  Ghee and butter.  Coconut oil.  Palm oil.  And, of course, fat that's in the meat we eat.  A paleo eater who gets most of their calories from fat is not uncommon.  And although it's vague from the description, just the fact that this is a fast food chain already convinces me that this is not going to be using quality lard or coconut oil, it'll probably be using "vegetable" oil from soybeans.

Also... granola?  Mother of fuck.  How do you even add "They're selling Greek yoghurt and granola for breakfast!" in an article maintaining Taco Bell is trying to pander to paleo eaters?  It's outrageous and ridiculous.

This is not paleo.  At best it is a slightly-less-shitty option than the rest of their menu.

That's maybe the one good part about this.  Most paleo eaters are going to wind up in a circumstance where we wind up deciding between either fasting or getting something at a fast food place that isn't fully paleo.  I've been known to get salads at Subway, for instance.  I know damn well there is probably vegetable oil in there, fillers, and so forth.  But it's better than getting a sandwich.  I've been known to get lettuce-wrapped BLT "sandwiches" from Jimmy John's.  My order also has vegetable oil.  This is a trade-off.  It's saying "Yeah, I understand this probably isn't perfectly paleo, but if I eat this I won't be tempted to go maul a loaf of bread later."  So it's not a bad thing that restaurants are expanding their menus to include less bread and other egregiously un-paleo foods.

It's also important that as a dietary community we start really looking at what we get excited about as a community.  I remember when Graze boxes first came to the United States and paleo forums I go to were loaded with invites and people looking for invites to get free boxes.  But practically none of the options didn't have stuff like vegetable oil, added sugar, peanuts, or grain.

But more importantly, we need to be the community that doesn't buy something just because it says "paleo" on it, or some other buzzword, or just because it was described as "paleo."  There are already products out there that are specifically advertised to the paleo community that aren't even close to what a paleo eater should be eating.  Most "paleo" and "primal" meal replacements have either whey or sugar in them... not to mention they fucking exist to begin with.

So when you read things like this, take them with a heap of salt.

Doctor Follow-Up With Good News, and Non-Whole-30 Foods

I went to the doctor this morning to get my blood pressure and weight checked.  There was a modest reduction in blood pressure over the month of about ten points on each end, so that's good.  I was hoping it'd get even better due to the diligence I've had with my sodium/potassium, but I'll take it.  The "official" weight drop from my last appointment to this one (so a span of about a month) is 14 pounds, which is also good; a little under a half a pound a day!  My doctor was happy about this, so hopefully I can keep it up.

Today I tried two of the more obvious non-Whole-30 foods.  Again, I was going to do the official reintroduction, but I'm going to be traveling for two weeks starting Sunday so that just won't work.

The two things I tried were fresh mozzarella cheese and soda (with corn syrup and aspartame).  I don't think the cheese had any affect, keeping in mind I actually have gone without dairy for extended periods of time.  I was a vegan for three years.  So I wasn't really worried about the cheese.

The soda... well, I didn't want to add it back, but I had some from before I started.  I should have just gotten rid of it, but I didn't, and I'm paying for it with a stomach ache and throat pain.  There are a few cans left that I'll be adding to the "family soda pile" and then I'm just going to go back to not drinking it.

In some ways it's similar to... well, maybe two or three months ago I accidentally drank a regular soda instead of a diet soda.  It's similar to that feeling, after having not drunk any regular soda except for the occasional root beer and suddenly drinking a legit Cherry Coke.  Except regular soda... it just coats my insides and I can't get rid of it.  I never would have guessed that'd happen in my past; I used to drink around 6-10 cans of soda--regular, sugary soda--daily.

I hope that kicking the soda is actually along-term thing, because even on diet I have a tendency to drink just a ridiculous amount of it and that's just not appropriate.

Fish, More Fish, and a Waldorf Salad

My brother came back from the Army recently and with that he and my dad have taken up a lot of fishing.  Unfortunately--or somewhat fortunately, for me--nobody in my family seems to eat a lot of fish except for me.  So I've been making quite a bit of it.  I've also been making a lot of Waldorf salad based on a recipe in a paleo cookbook I own.  Anyway...

For the above I took a filleted Walleye, put Hawaiian black salt and pepper on it, and squeezed lemon on it.  I baked it on a grill pan for about 20 minutes at 350^oF.

The above--which may or may not look suspiciously similar--is a filleted Largemouth Bass.  I prepared in in pretty much the same way I prepared the Walleye, about 20 minutes at 350^oF, lemon.

And finally, my salad:

It's really simple:  Cut up an apple and a few sticks of celery, add a few handfuls of walnuts, and add mayonnaise.  I'm not going to judge you too hard if you buy mayonnaise at the store, but it's virtually impossible to buy paleo-appropriate mayo.  Right now there's a huge fad where mayo manufacturers are putting out varieties that slap "OLIVE OIL!!!" all over the container even though it's just regular soybean-oil or canola-oil mayo with some olive oil added for flavor.

Mayonnaise is really easy to make, though, if you have an immersion blender and patience.  Put a couple egg yolks at the bottom of a jar, add a teaspoon mustard (most recipes specify dry, but I've found wet mustard also works great), a quarter teaspoon salt, a tablespoon each of lemon juice and vinegar (I use apple cider; you can also just use two tablespoons of lemon juice).  Put the immersion blender into it and start dribbling in a cup of extra light olive oil a few drops at a time.  Keep going and mixing until either you run out of olive oil or you are no longer able to actually mix it in.  Make sure you hold the jar in place, because one time when I did this as soon as the mayo emulsified the mixer turned it into a massive spin-art all the fuck over the place.

There are plenty of mayo recipes out there that you can experiment with and if necessary modify.  You can use avocado oil instead of olive, or even coconut oil or bacon grease (but for oils that are solid at room temperature realize that you need to use it right away or it'll solidify!).  If you really like olive oil, you might try extra virgin (although I feel like that'd be really strong). 

The End of the Whole 30

So my Whole 30 officially ended... I think yesterday?  I didn't write about it nearly as much as I'd expected to, since the last time I did a Whole 30 it was so mind-bogglingly difficult I wanted to write my frustration out at every single turn.  This time it was like... eat food, work, and suddenly it's over.  I'll be continuing the full Whole 30 into tomorrow (I have a doctor's appointment and want to see the exact results from pre- and post-Whole 30) before adding back a few select things (some dairy, maybe a little sweetener, occasional sushi) and seeing if they affect me too much.

But yeah... it was remarkably easy this time, which I didn't expect.  Last time as soon as the Whole 30 was done the food addiction kicked in and I was basically mauling cake.  I don't feel like that this time, which is a great success.

Anyway, I'll be leaving next week for an out-of-state business trip, meaning my diet will likely be very compromised.  I will be striving for "paleo-as-possible-with-regard-to-the-circumstances," meaning I might have a serious cheat meal here and there but otherwise I'll be going with whatever is closest.

When that time comes, I'll try to keep writing but I can't promise anything.  I do have a few other things to post before I go, though!

Natural Transitioning for Trans Men is a Crock, and Here's Why

I've already written about the subject of Natural Transitioning for Trans Men (NT), but this was a long time ago, and since then... well, my opinions on it have changed, slightly.  When I say "slightly" I mean I went from "this is crap" to "this is crap and I'm really, intensely offended by it."  This was driven partially by the fact that it is now only available as a $20 book, rather than for free as it was originally presented... but mostly by the feelings that come from watching friend after friend wind up sorely disappointed.

Anyway, what is NT?  It's a program designed for trans men to increase the amount of testosterone the body makes in order to masculinize a person's appearance.  It involves taking over-the-counter supplements, a rigid exercise program, and dietary changes.  And although I don't see it around so much anymore, every so often a friend or acquaintance of mine will decide to try it for some reason or another.

The top reasons?

1. Inability to get hormones due to lack of access to local prescribing doctors.
2. Desire to not be actually diagnosed with gender dysphoria.
3. Lack of interest in going to therapy and lack of access to informed consent programs.
4. Wants to avoid "shocking" their bodies.
5. Are non-binary and/or only want some of the effects of higher testosterone.
6. Contraindicated from using testosterone injections.
7. Attracted to the concept of "naturalness."
8. A few were trying it because they are vegans and wanted to avoid animal-tested and animal-ingredient-including pharmaceuticals.

I'm not judging the reasons people choose to use it.  I am also not questioning that in people who have barriers in place preventing hormone therapy, there may be a psychological reward in doing something until they can attain that.  So this essay is in no way intended to disparage people who have tried or are intending to try NT.  It's also not meant to be a cut on the other, extremely important projects Tristan Skye has founded and maintained.

But I think it's really important that trans men who are considering it are aware of the issues surrounding it.  And it really is your choice, but I'm not going to sit here and say I don't think it's a crock, because I absolutely believe it is.  Here's why.

1. Honorable Mention: Attempting to trademark "Natural Transitioning" when that was already a well-known term for something else.

First off, I don't think I've ever actually found reference to NT while looking for it in a trademark search, so I have a feeling he didn't actually trademark it and is just using the ^TM mark because... I don't know.  Maybe he doesn't know what it means?  There's also the chance I'm just not looking hard enough.  Anyway, it doesn't matter.

Long before people were peddling programs promising FTM transition with herbs and vitamins, "Natural Transitioning" was a term used for black people--usually black women--who were going back to their natural hair texture after having straightened or permed it.  It's worth a major eye-roll to me that this person has decided to try trademarking a term without even so much as a Google to make sure it's not already used by a marginalized group to refer to something personal and important.  Just a thought.  I mean, even when I create a new blog I always at least do a cursory search of the title just to make sure I'm not accidentally stealing a name.  And while that's not always a perfect solution, this was something that would have shown up in even a cursory search.

But even if you totally don't give a shit about that, there's still a lot of other stuff to discuss.

2. The person who invented this had a metric fuckton of help from good old biology as well as training.

When you see a picture of a bearded dude with a reasonably deep voice hawking an herbal/nutritional regimen to people as an alternative to pharmaceutical transition, it gives the illusion that NT is practically as good as intramuscular injections or other methods of taking testosterone through conventional medicine.  If you read more of this person's work, though, you learn that his voice is largely due to vocal training lessons.  Even more importantly, he already had facial hair before he decided to transition, and used minoxidil (Rogaine) as well.

Now, NT will if done properly cause changes in things like body fat and muscle, which can be extremely masculinizing.  But if you think you're going to come out of it looking like Tristan Skye, you're probably going to be sorely disappointed.  It wasn't just pills, exercise, and diet that made him look the way he does.

3. The effects of Natural Transitioning are usually miniscule and not worth the costs for most people.
 
YouTube is culturally extremely important to trans men, and loads of us have posted videos there talking about our struggles and displaying the changes we go through while transitioning, whether hormonal or not.  So of course there are people on there who are attempting NT.

Watch them.  Seriously.  The last time I did this, what I saw were a lot of guys talking about how many changes they were going through, who swore up and down that their voices were changing and their peach fuzz was slightly fuzzier.  Most of them wind up giving up very quickly once they realize just how little the regimen is actually helping, especially when doing a cost/benefit analysis between it and conventional testosterone.

NT doesn't just make your transition more gradual so your body has time to adjust or whatever other woo you choose to use to justify it... it does practically nothing you won't get from just taking care of yourself.  But I'll get to that later.

There are two main costs that make NT a poor choice for most trans men.  They are...


4. Natural Transitioning is ridiculously expensive in comparison to testosterone.

All of the supplements required on this program are very, very expensive.  Testosterone isn't that expensive, and it would be much more cost-effective to use the money you would be using to buy this crap to go to a therapist and a doctor instead (which is where the real costs of T come in; a bottle of testosterone for me costs around $60 and lasts six months, it's the bloodwork and therapy that is expensive).

But this more literal cost isn't even the worst part...


5. Natural Transitioning is a hell of a lot of effort to get a little of what cis men need basically no effort to achieve.

There's a pseudo-moralistic reasoning among quite a few trans men who attempt NT, as if they'll value transition significantly more because they worked so hard for it.  This is ludicrous, though:  Trans men shouldn't feel obligated to work hard to change our hormone ratios to those more similar to cis men's.  A cis man who has a serious hormone deficiency doesn't need to feel like bodybuilding and paying GNC worker salaries is a more worthwhile option than a weekly shot, why should we?

And this takes a lot of effort and time.  This is supplementation morning, noon, and night, as well as more exercise than most average people have the ability to do.  And they aren't even that effective.

6. Most of these supplements are useless.

To do the whole NT program you will need to buy and consume over a dozen different supplements, mostly supplements that are advertised to bodybuilders with a few extras for general health.  DebGod from Skepchick has a nice article in which a natural bodybuilder is queried and explains that most of these supplements are not necessary with good diet and exercise.  She also explains that cis women who do natural bodybuilding, while they may gain more "stereotypically masculine" muscle structures, do not typically get deeper voices or facial hair.  These are things you see when they use steroids; they don't just happen from bodybuilding.  But for this sort of thing, and much more, you should really just read that article, which has more information on this particular subject than I have.

Basically, you're taking these supplements just to piss them out.  You can achieve most of the real, tangible effects of NT just by going on a diet and exercise program... and you don't need this book for that.

7. Testosterone isn't that bad.

Testosterone has side effects.  So does NT.  Testosterone requires a doctor.  Ideally, so does NT.  Testosterone has contraindications that make it inaccessible for people with certain medical conditions.  Most of them also make the supplements on NT more dangerous.  We don't really have that much information about the risks of long-term testosterone use in trans men.  But it's been studied a lot more than NT.  Testosterone shocks your system.  So does... you know... puberty.  And most importantly, testosterone works for what trans men typically need.

Fourth of July and Sick, Sick, Sick

I'm not really into the Fourth of July because I have a tendency to despise patriotic and nationalistic holidays.  I did go to a parade, which consisted almost entirely of churches, fire trucks, and Republican candidates for office.   Yuck.

Yesterday I left work early because I wasn't feeling very well.  Today I'm doing worse... I'm on a nice cocktail of over-the-counter drugs (and my prescription asthma inhaler, which I only use rarely), aromatherapy concoctions, and I'm starting to improve a little bit over this morning.  It's times like these I'm really glad I stopped being irrationally afraid of medicine (although I still use it sparingly).

Last night I made a nice chicken and tamarind soup.  All I did was take chicken broth, use it to boil strips of skinless/boneless thigh meat, and then when that was boring I added some tamarind pulp which really bumped up the flavor in a nice way.

Today and a couple days ago I actually made side pork, which for those who don't know is basically the part of the pig they use to make bacon, often slice in the same way as bacon, but without the curing or added ingredients.  I'm collecting the fat so I have a nice stock of non-hydrogenated pork lard to use for cooking.

Anyway, a note on my Coconut Water Challenge:  Since I'm sick I don't feel right trying to judge coconut water, since everything tastes different!  So other than one that's scheduled, I'm holding off on finishing it until further notice.

Quick Paleo Meals and Snacks

I'll admit it:  I can be slightly lazy when it comes to cooking.  I do it, and I do cook quite a bit, but especially in the mornings when I get up to go to work, I basically am one of those that tries to stay in bed as late as possible.  For a while I was just fasting through work, but lately I've been having a hard time doing that without feeling awful, so very quick and easy fixes are in order.  This is a list of some of those.

Canned Tuna with Mustard
 My last recipe was for salmon with mustard, but really I put stone ground mustard on almost anything.  Canned tuna is cheap (the pictured can is Chicken of the Sea, but more sustainable, pole-caught canned tuna is often available, too).  I choose albacore tuna for its higher omega-3 fatty acids and usually without added salt.  And it's really easy:  Open can, add mustard, eat.  It's like tuna salad without the mayonnaise.

Canned Sardines and Herring
I don't usually put mustard on these... but you can.  Read the ingredients because sometimes they add non-paleo oils or sugar.  They're usually pretty salty, too, so if you're like me and trying to watch that you should pay attention to this.

Olives, Pickles, Dilly Beans
It should be clear by now that there are a lot of salty snacks on this list.  These are very salty (you can rinse off the brine if you want less sodium), but otherwise they're a good choice.

Baby Carrots
Baby carrots get a bad rap because they're literally just adult carrots that have been carved down.  I eat these for breakfast relatively often, though, because they're accessible, they taste good, and they're inexpensive.

Seaweed Snacks

I am pretty addicted to these things.  They are usually from South Korea and come in a wide variety of flavors.  Unfortunately many of them are made with sketchy oils.  The brand I've pictured--SeaSnax--is the only brand I currently eat, which only uses olive oil.  It is, of course, up to you if you want to get a cheaper one that isn't quite as ideal in the oil department.

Plantain Chips
You need to be really careful with this because plantain chips vary a lot as far as added ingredients.  There are plantain chips available that are nothing but plantains and either coconut or palm oil.  They're starchy and have lots of carbohydrates, but if this doesn't matter to you, go for it.

Fresh Fruit
I will mention this even though I've been having lots of problems right now overeating cherries.  It isn't making me lose weight much slower, but it is giving me stomachaches.  Fruit is sugary, but not all paleo eaters are going for low- or reduced-carbs anyway.  For those of you who aren't, go right on ahead.  Go for the whole fruit, not a smoothie or juice.

Boiled Eggs
Boiled eggs are easy to make by just... well, boiling eggs for about twenty minutes (a lot of people are really picky about things like getting the yolks perfectly yellow... I don't actually care, although you're welcome to go research and perfect your technique if you do.  Pre-cooked hard-boiled eggs are also common in cafeterias and gas stations, so when I'm off at work or visiting my alma mater and need to eat something, these are often there for me.

Jerky
Packaged jerky often has ingredients that you might not want to consume, like sugar and soy products, so if you buy it you really should read the ingredients.  When I'm not doing strict paleo I might get a bag at a gas station because it's a better option than, say, a granola bar.  Typically, though, you should just make it yourself.  If you have a dehydrator, an easy thing to do is take lean ground beef, mix in spices you like (salt, coconut aminos or soy sauce if you eat it, various types of pepper, I like adding celery salt and sesame seeds), make thin patties from it, and put it in a dehydrator until it's... well, dry.  If you don't put salt in it, you will need to pay close attention to where you keep it and don't let it sit around.