My Worst-Cooks Knockoff Dish

I have been obsessed with the show "Worst Cooks in America" lately.  I don't actually believe these are real people.  They are robots programmed to be terrible at cooking.  But anyway, last night I watched an episode that had a really goddamn good looking rib eye and I decided to rip it off using what I already had in my fridge.

Alright, for some transparency, this isn't even close to pure paleo.  It could easily be morphed into something much more purely paleo, though, if you desire.  Its main "paleo sins" are the use of dairy and some added sugar from in the pre-made spice mix I used.  If you don't do tubers you can replace the sweet potato with butternut squash, the butter can be omitted, the milk can be replaced with cream or coconut milk, and you can certainly omit the maple syrup.

I mean, obviously you can do all those things.  I'm merely giving some suggestions should you choose to go this path.

Buttered Chuck Eye Steak with Sweet Potato Puree

Steak Ingredients (per steak):

• 1 chuck eye steak
• Grill Mates Fiery 5 Pepper Seasoning or a comparable dry rub
• 1 tablespoon refined coconut oil (you can go with unrefined if you don't mind everything tasting like coconut)
• 1 tablespoon butter
• a sprig of rosemary
• salt (I used Fleur de Sel because I'm a hipster like that) to taste

Puree Ingredients:

• 1 sweet potato
• 1/4 cup whole milk or cream
• 1 tablespoon butter
• maple syrup to taste
• salt to taste

Steak Instructions

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

Put a cast iron pan on the stove and put the coconut oil in it.  Allow it to heat so it's very hot (I have an induction stovetop and a cast iron pan, I set it on the highest setting).  While the pan is heating, coat each side of the steak with the spice mix and really push it in.  Sear each side until the spice mix is crusted onto it.  The steak itself will still be raw; that's fine, it's supposed to be like that.

Take the pan off the heat so the oil doesn't start to burn and take the steak out of the pan (if you're using cast iron per my instructions it'll stay pretty hot anyway).  Slice it at 3/4 inch to 1 inch intervals depending on what you're into.  Put it back into the pan, place the rosemary sprig on top, and put the tablespoon of butter over that (the butter should sink between the slices of steak, the rosemary will get crispy and serve as both a garnish and something tasty to nibble on).  Put it in the oven for about ten minutes.  This is a good time to make the sweet potato puree described below (unless you decide to be fancy and not use the microwave; in this case you would pre-make it).  Plate the puree by spooning it onto a plate in an area about the size of your steak (unless you decide to be fancy again and use a piping bag or something).

Avoid touching the pan with your bare hands when you take it out (I only remind you of this because I burned myself pretty awful while cooking this because I biffed it and tried grabbing the handle).  Using a chef's knife or flipper, pick the steak up as a whole unit and place it on the puree.

Put a fancy-looking salt on it, like I said I used Fleur de Sel which is a particularly salty variety of salt that looks pretty.  It's hard to see it in the picture but it really added to the plating.

Puree Instructions

I should mention that I made the sweet potato as kind of an afterthought while the steak was cooking.  I just peeled it, sliced it, and microwaved it on high for about six minutes to soften it.  Take an electric hand mixer and puree together the sweet potato, milk, butter, syrup, and salt.  This is really easy stuff.  No worries.

Cherry Twig Chuck

So yesterday I made one of the best pieces of beef I've ever made. 


Cherry Twig Chuck
I had bought a chuck roast to cut into steaks.  I cut half of it into two steaks that I ate with a friend a couple days ago, then the other half I cut into what actually amounts to mini-roasts.  I think next time I do this I'll just grill a whole chuck roast.

Ingredients and supplies include:

• A grill. Unless you have a tray that you can put wood chips in, this is not something you can make in an oven or frying pan.  It's grill food.  I used a propane grill.  You should be able to do it fine on a charcoal grill, too, but you'll have to tweak the recipe a bit.  The best grills for this have either a separate smoking area or have a top rack.
• A chuck roast or chuck steaks (you can probably use other meat, too).  The lean parts turned out the best.
• Garlic powder
• Salt (I use Hawaiian Black Salt)
• Black Pepper
• Twigs from a cherry tree.

Start up the grill as per instructions and let it heat up.  Sprinkle the garlic powder and pepper on the steak.  I usually only put a little garlic powder on there, because garlic powder is just so strong to me.  Don't put the salt on, yet.

Put the meat on the grill.  I stick the cherry twigs on the grill at this point.

Leave them on there, flipping every so often, until they're good and browned all over, then transfer them to the top rack.  If you haven't put your cherry twigs on the grill yet, do that so that it really starts filling the area with smoke.  Close the lid and leave it there.   I probably had these there for about a half hour.  They're also very thick, though.  If you're doing steaks, you won't need so long.

Once it's all done, then add the salt.

This is what I wound up with at the end.  I often have trouble with chuck being too stringy/tough.  There was some toughness in the fatty meats, but all-in-all it was just excellent.